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the punch drunk kid

for no reason at all, i have been putting off updates in this wretched blog.

i have decided. i'm going to shift. not transfer. i'm going to make my dad happy. i'm going to satisfy my mom. i'm going to be happy in the end. i know it. is this finally settled? high hopes and nailed feet.

my maturity level has gone down a notch since my previous posts. how or why it happened or how or why i even noticed it happening, is beyond the limits of my mind. i'm confined to the belief that if i don't focus my attention on something, it'll just slip away; if i don't think of something enough, i'll forget it and it'll just slip away. it scares the living daylights out of me. i'm sincerely afraid that everything will just slip away. and that soon, i will find myself curled up in a corner all alone and weepy with nothing but a tired face and empty hands. i need to redeem myself. i need to do the things i said i'd do and find my own revolution.

i found out something about myself lately. i don't need love right now. i just need higher ceilings. i feel as if i can't move, breathe or think because such closed quarters are cramping my, well, style. i think i need professional help. oh lord.

breathe with me:
we watched the curious case of benjamin button earlier today. it was magnificent. go watch it.
going to get a "sun plan" next week.
i've almost finished reading the green mile by stephen king.
just about to read the unbearable lightness of being.
i shall paint my nails blue tomorrow. just because i feel dreadful.
diet starts tomorrow. Mai is going to be my diet buddy.
Bohol trip is on Feb.
i will dream about waking up next to brad pitt, patrick dempsey, chace crawford, milo ventimiglia and spunk ransom. how i wish.
i'm going to finish grey's anatomy tomorrow. and i will weep like a punished child.
i will overhaul my friendster account, first thing tomorrow morning.
I AM GOING TO FIND MY REVOLUTION.

Labels: comebackkid, life, list, maturity

4 Comments:

your comment bitch is back, bitch!
*i told you there's no way to stop it. it'll pass, eventually. i hope.
*yey you're gonna kick ass in medtech!
*magaling ako pumili ng book.
*peram ng grey's pagtapos mo
*i have to lose weight na din kasi my fugly uniform wouldn't fit anymore :|

By  Anonymous, at January 10, 2009 at 3:13 AM  

*nothing's happening naman eh. and i hate myself for being disappointed. hahaha.
*i hope so :D
*oo nga. ang ganda nung book. haha.
*sige. di pa binabalik saken ni rj ung season five.
*diet na tayoooo. for real this time.

By  kimdelladuncan, at January 10, 2009 at 7:38 PM  

shift kna talaga?
diet-schmiet. wag na! haha

By  Patricia, at January 13, 2009 at 12:11 PM  

75% sure that i'm shifting. hahaha.
atska kelangan ko magdiet! payat ka kasi! hahahaha.

By  kimdelladuncan, at January 13, 2009 at 7:44 PM  

eatthishunneh

a few more minutes and it's christmas but still i can't really feel the spirit. grinch? not really. it's just that i'm not a "holiday" person. i don't get hyped just because someone says we're supposed to be happy on a certain bloody day. yet here i am fumbling on the keyboard just to greet you guys. MERRY EFFIN CHRISTMAS. there. atleast i got that out of the way.

this christmas is by far the least festive christmas i've had in my whole life. my parents are losing their christmas spirit too. might it be old age? or is it my fault? is it because i'm getting older? fat chance. maybe it's because of the crisis. hell, i have no clue. i used to get so many presents but now... uhh. not so much. :)) my dad gave me cash. hooray. but now i'm close to being broke. i have about 5k left. that's not much i tell you. i still have to buy gifts for my closest friends. maaaaan, it's tough growing up. the funny thing is, i still don't get treated like one. sht. i desperately need to prove to them that i can take care of myself. PLEASE LORD HELP ME WITH THIS.

because i'm young, broke, without direction and bitter about life -- i just might change my lifestyle. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP. i won't even wait for new year for my resolutions. i'm going to start tomorrow. hopefully i won't be too lazy for that.

i'm infatuated with a certain number of people. i feel like such a loser. i really am infatuated. the butterflies in my stomach, the constant daydreams, the real dreams, the stupid smile plastered on my face -- the whole shebang. i need someone. :))

Labels: christmas, infatuation, life, maturity, money, perplexities

2 Comments:

Funny how I felt the same way this morning. :}} Anyway, Merry Christmas still. :]

By  Ayee, at December 25, 2008 at 9:44 PM  

hahaha. :) merry christmas to you too, ayee :)

By  kimdelladuncan, at December 26, 2008 at 8:42 PM  

eatthishunneh

it's high time that i should start feeling infinite again. stars will be as big and bright as i make them out to be and the moon will lose one of her daughters just for me to wish upon. it's maddening that i've been in such a rut these past few months. maybe my mind really is made up and maybe i shall be stubborn about this whole thing -- whatever the case is, i think i'm going to be happy. my soul is just so tired of this world that maybe i just want to burn and scream. if i do, maybe i'd be satisfied. what do you think? i need to find what brings me joy and go there. taft? katipunan? or here in espanya? this is sickeningly serious. help me decide. no, don't. i should decide for myself. this is my life and whether i sink or swim it should always stem from my perogative. life is making me such a fragile idiot. i need to escape. i think i'm going to catch up on mansfield park.

Labels: comebackkid, life, maturity, perplexities

0 Comments:

eatthishunneh

i'm off to manila tomorrow with boil. my mum and the maid is tagging along because my mum wants to go to baclaran but all in all i'm free to do whatever i please. boil and i will have lunch with miggy. i hope he treats us. hahahaha. it's his birthday today! happy birthday, butaw! love you! XD

i've been chowing down fudge sticks all day. and since i don't drink water, gatorade is the next best thing. ROFL. i only drink the blue, red and purple ones though. the others taste like crap.

i found out about something recently and it's breaking my heart. i feel so bad because i think it's my fault. i'm so sorry this has to be the result of all my actions. now i know i have to make the best decisions because they're going to affect every aspect of my life. i have to start growing up.

so far my sembreak has been a mix of sharp turns. i'm still waiting for the bruises to heal and waiting for the adrenaline to boil down. and uhh did i say that i'm on the dean's list? well. there ya go. i am. hahaha. SCOREEEE!

Labels: birthday, food, friends, maturity, perplexities

0 Comments:

eatthishunneh

i'm not sure if this is just the effect of lack of sleep or if my mind just goes haywire when it's almost midnight but i do believe that it's time for one of those monumental changes. I know I have to start growing up, and with that said, I now have a life goal. It's egoistic in a sense that it gratifies my wants and needs but isn't that the point? Shouldn't I try to make myself happy? Ofcourse i should. I want to be fulfilled, and i will be, I just have to bid my time. Let all the scorn filled strangers pass by, I'll just mock them. Haaaa. My dad always says that the world is never fair so i shouldn't expect it to change for me. I should be more self-disciplined and I should start thinking about the bigh things in life. I'll stop whining about the silliest things and yeah, that's a big ass promise that i won't break. Raaar. My eyes are betraying me. I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is the start of the new me. Goodnight.

Labels: maturity

0 Comments:

eatthishunneh

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